Curly Tops

Sleep tips from Ainsley Sinicco - Owner of Curly Tops Baby and Toddler Sleepwear

I decide to add this page to my website because I wanted to share with you all the personal experiences that I have had since becomming a mother to my three beautiful children. I always enjoy reading honest articles from mothers, and thought that by writing my own I can possibly share some of the wonderful experiences thaht I have had, along with the tribulations of parenthood - and in turn you may find some good advice in all of this. You may also come out of this thinking that I am a completely disfunctional parent, but I will leave that up to you.

The background:

After trying to conceive my first child for over two years I was completely flabergasted to find out that I was pregnant with my first child. I was filled with anticipation, and excitement as I travelled through my pregnancy in 2002. I remember receiving so much advice, much of it unwanted because I truly believed that motherhood would be pretty easy being the optimistic person that I was. I took the advice that I wanted and stored it in the memory banks, and thanked those who gave me unwanted advice with a fleeting "thanks, I will remember that wonderful advice" and immediately forgot what they had told me.

The birth:

In November 2004 I gave birth to Olivia after a long and exciting labour. She came into the world with a big shreak and has continued to be my noisy child to this date. I had every drug you could imagine during the birth of Olivia (Pethidine, Epidural and gas) and she was delivered by vaccuum extraction after a 32 hour labour. I do say 32 hour labour with a bit of a giggle, because in the end it was probably only 10 hours of pain (the first 24 hours was pretty easy - although being my first I really did think it was just plain aweful). I went into the labour dead against any intervention and a very strict birth plan - ha ha! Well that all went hay wire when I was told I was going to be induced and the pain started within about 10 minutes of the dreaded drip going in........

TIP # 1: Everything does not always go according to plan. Whatever labour you end up having does not really matter, as long as your baby is happy and healthy upon arrival is all that matters. If it hurts and you are finding it too much to bear - go for the pain relief! Honestly, If someone asked you to cut off your thumb would you refuse pain relief - I think not!

Anyway, being the first child I had the entire family arrived at the delivery ward within 30 minutes of the delivery. I was so excited to show off my little angel that my other plan to have no visitors so that I could bond with my baby also went out the window. Now looking back, I would not have had it any other way. Having my mum, dad, mother in law and father in law around at such a big event in my life was amazing, and I know to this day that they too found it overwhelming and exciting!

TIP # 2: Don't get all upset thinking about how you want to be alone with your baby "to bond" with them get in the way of reality. The adreneline of childbirth always gets in the way, and you will desperately want to show off your little bundle as soon as you get out of the delivery suit. Although, if you give birth at 2am in the morning perhaps it is best to wait.....

The sleepy baby:

Olivia was a dream baby in hospital - slept and slept and slept. I woke her to feed and then popped her back in her bassinet. Oh yes, motherhood was wonderful and I could not wait to get home and start my new family.

TIP # 3: Babies have a pretty hard job getting out of that birth canal and can be quite exhausted after doing so. Imagine running a 20km marathon! Well your baby has just done that, so expect that they will be pretty dopey when they are in hospital. Olivia used to fall asleep at the boob so she was pretty hard to feed, so now comes my next tip for those of you with sleepy bubbus:

TIP # 4: Ok, now don't laugh......while your baby is feeding pump their little arms like you are pumping water from a well - up and down. Yep, baby will start feeding like a trooper!

The breastfeeding:

Now I am not going to bore you about how easy I thought breastfeeding was going to be, but to cut a long story short, it was hell for me. I suffered everything from sever pain, cracked nipples, mastitis etc etc and ended up having to express for the first 8 weeks of my babies life. So here goes with my best breastfeeding advice (assuming you want to go down that path....):

If it hurts - STOP and re attach again

Get as much help as you can in hospital, that is what the midwives are there for. If you are confused by conflicting advice then go with your gut instincts and if it feels right (ie: no pain) then dont try to fix it!

Use Lansinoh, or paw paw cream to keep your nipples soft and to prevent cracking

If your nipples start to crack whatever you do, don't bare all and go out in the backyard and try to dry them out. Firsty, your neighbours will think you are a looney and will probably get off having a big perve at your big breastfeeding boobs or secondly, you will just cause them to dry up and when you feed the next time your baby will probably just pull off the hard crust and you are back at square one. So my advice is - MOTHERS MATES! You get these from good pharmacies, or just ask your midwife, They are a natural gell, brestpad shaped pad that you cool down in the fridge and pop on after every feed. The natural ingredients will help your nipples to 'wet heal' so you do not cause further damage.

Don't dismay, it does get better. I remember hanging up on a friend who gave me this advice, but after 8 weeks it did finally work out and everything went according to plan.

The Sleep deprivation:

Anyway, back to the sleep. Once we got our little lovely home she finally woke from her nice big sleep. I don't know what causes this in some babies, perhaps for me it was purely due to the fact that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and was so stressed that she too became a stressed out baby.

Every time she whimpered my gorgeous husband happily told me that she was hungry. So out came my torn up, sucked out boobs for another feed. I remember sitting in the loungeroom night after night, during her feeding frenzies, watching infomercials (arghhhhh, the though sends shivers down my spine - if I ever see another Demtel commercial it will be the end of me as we know it). My poor little angel just would not sleep. I even employed my husband to walk around the block, rugged up with the baby in the baby sling at 2am in the morning to try to get her to sleep.

TIP # 5: If baby whimpers don't just assume that they are hungry. Try settling your baby in their bassinet or cot. Contrary to popular belief, you will not 'spoil' a newborn. So rocking them to sleep is not going to set you up for disaster later on. They are a baby and need your love and cuddles in the first few weeks, so don't feel like a failure for doing so. DO NOT try controlled crying when they are newborns, if you are seriously worried about your baby not sleeping (especially in the first few weeks) then consult your doctor.

When Olivia hit 8 weeks of age, I finally figured out that the poor little possum was being overfed. I started settling her using varying techniques (rocking her bassinet), and recognising her tired signs. I started feeding her 4 hourly and within about 3 days she was sleeping through the night (7pm to 7am - with a rollover feed at 10.30pm)....I could not believe it.

TIP # 6: Now that baby is older start routining her. The better your baby sleeps during the day, the more likely they are to sleep at night. Babies thrive on routine, and having your baby sleep at nominated sleep times will not only help your baby to sleep better at night - but you will also regain your sanity.

I found the following routine a great help (it is pretty stock standard to use this type of routine, but don't be shy to change it around to suit your needs).

The Routine:

7am Wake baby and feed
8.30 am Put baby back to sleep
11am feed baby
12.30 pm put baby to sleep
3 pm feed baby
4.30 pm put baby to sleep. This is nap time only so make sure you wake up your baby no later than 5.15pm
5.30pm bath baby
6.30 pm feed baby
7 pm BEDTIME

You may wish to introduce the rollover feed at this age. A rollover feed is when you feed your baby (without waking them) at around 10.30pm. I found it extremely useful in getting Olivia sleeping through the night. I would quietly go into her room, pick her up (in her sleeping bag of course) and feed her. Never give them eye contact during this time. Most babies will just feed while they sleep. Once they are finished, pop them back into their bed.

Also, as newborns, babies can usually only manage about 15 minutes of awake time (not including feeding time of course). After you have fed baby, let them have a little play but watch their tired signs. When you see them starting to use sudden stiff movements, grimmacing, rubbing their eyes or getting grizzly, put them back to sleep. Don't try to keep them awake because you will only get them so tired that they will start to fight it and you will have terrible trouble getting them down. An overtired baby is very hard to settle, so try to not let them get to this point.

The resonable bedtime:

TIP # 6: Ok, now this is my personal opinion here, so if you don't like this then please just go with what you know best. Babies and toddlers should be in bed by 7pm. Keeping your babies up later at night will just come back and bite you on the bottom later on - trust me on this one!. Babies thrive on routine, but remember that you also need to have a life. Put the kids to bed by 7 (or 7.30) and then sit down to a nice meal with your husband. I honestly believe that my marriage is as strong as it is today because we have plenty of time that we spend together. Don't ever forget about your partner, because your children will not benefit if you are at each others throats.

The reason I say that it will come back to bit you on the bum, is that you need to remember that when your kids get to the age of 3 or 4 and start going to kinder/creche etc, they need to be there by 8.30 or so in the morning. If you are not putting your kids to bed early enough then god only knows how you are going to get them up, fed, dressed and ready to go in the morning. I know, I know...this is so far away you are thinking! Honestly, it creeps up so fast that you barely blink an eye. And trying to change bad habits when they are fiesty little toddlers is harder than getting your baby into a good routine at an early age. On top of that, when you eventually decide to have another baby your life gets busier and you will truly value your alone time by the end of the day....

The turnaround:

So after a rough start, Olivia became a wonderful sleeper. Obviously I did start her in one of my wonderful sleeping bags at an early age - and hence the Curly Tops label was formed.

So you porbably think that I am gloating at how great a sleeper she is - well I must tell you something. Yes, she was amazing 12 hours from 8 weeks of age, but I did have 8 weeks of pure hell to start with due to my lack of understanding, and because I was so overwhelmed by motherhood. I still have friends remember how bad I was, yes it is true some of my friends still revel in bring it up to this day. I remember someone saying to me (not long ago I must add) "I really thought you were going to take to motherhood so easily - but geez you really struggled with Olivia didn't you?". Hmmmmm, yes I took that one with a grain of salt.

TIP # 7: Try not to swipe your friend accross their face when they make such comments. I have learnt that parents are so terribly competitive and will do anything to make you feel that they are doing a better jon than you are. Just ignore it and remember "You are doing great guns no matter what anyone says".

Oops, I did it again:

Anyway, I then found out that I was pregnant with number 2 in mid 2003. Olivia was 18 months old and I could not think of anything better than having another sibling for her to play with - YAY. The pregnancy went well. I worked on Curly Tops in between my pregnancy cravings (I must say I was pretty disgusting this time around - lets just say I was partial to a pie or two....he he). 20 kgs later and 9 months down the track I gave birth to baby girl number 2. Now, being the person that I am, I automatically assumed that I would be having a boy because I already had a girl and was (very pleasantly) suprised that I had managed to make another girl. I did not have any girls names picked out (only James for a boy) so we proudly named our little bundle "Jamie".

The labour was completely different to Olivia's. It was relatively short (8 hours from start to finish) and I managed to get through it with the gas. Unfortunately I overdosed a bit on the gas, and ended up going a bit nutty during the labour but in the end I did not have enough time for pethedine or epidurals (bummer !!!!). So in the end it was a pretty 'nasty' labour, but she was born healthy and happy.

The 4 month old crazed baby:

I was pretty content, and found number 2 to be a dream. She was the dream baby. She slept from the day she was born and woke up at around 4 months of age. I laugh when I recall this because I remember people telling me what a placid baby I had. They were not wrong, she was placid, and still is to this day but she became a terror at 4 months and woke every hour on the hour for about 4 weeks straight. I nearly went around the twist, I was exhausted and could not believe that she could do this to me after being such a wonderful newborn.

TIP # 8: ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT. Some will sleep from the word go, but every baby will have a time when you think they are going crazy. You may think the full moon is out, you might think you are doing something wrong. At the end of the day "your baby is normal". Every baby goes through a growth phase or as I call it a 'grumpy' phase. Just remember that it will pass with a bit of TLC, and if you try to stick with your routine! This is also a great time to introduce your baby to a sleeping bag if you have not done so already!

So after booking in to the closest live in baby clinic, I finally got the call from the midwife to tell me that I had got a place and that I needed to be there within 24 hours. And yes, I waited for 4 weeks to get in, and by the time I did she was over her little hissy fit and decided that she would start sleeping through the night again - Arghhh. I very kindly declined the invitation and went back to my daily routine. I must say, I also wondered how a mother who ran a sleep business could possibly have a baby that created so much drama at night - I mean really how could she do that to me? he he.

TIP # 8: Lots of mums ring me when their babies are around 4 months of age and tell me that they have suddenly stopped sleeping or developed bad habbits. This is very normal. Many babies at this age are becomming much more aware of their surroundings and it is also common for them to go through a growth spurt at this age. Some babies may also be 'hungrier' at this age, especially if they are big babies. Introducing some rice cereal at around 5 months will not do any harm (in my opinion only) if you think that your baby is hungry. Always seek medical advice if you are unsure!

It usually only lasts a few weeks, so if you can manage then do - but always ask for help if you are struggling.

The Lazy Baby:

Jamie was my lazy baby, she did not roll until she was 10 months, and walked at around 16 months. I was not worried, although if she had been my first I think I would have thought something is wrong. She was the happiest baby (always smiling), and just took things in her stride. Must be the second baby syndrome, because she is probably the most relaxed out of all of my children.

TIP # 9: Don't think there is anything wrong with your baby if they do not reach their milestones as quickly as the other babies in your mothers groups - all babies are different. If you are worried then seek advice, but be patient. Where you baby is slow at some things, they will be quicker in other areas, so concentrate on the good things and don't harp on the bad.

Ooopsy, and again.........

On Jamie's first birthday I recieved a present much to my suprise - yes I got two lines on the old pregnancy stick! Wow, very unexpected. I was not really sure how I should tell my husband, but I did and we just sat on the phone in complete silence for about 5 minutes until it all sinked in. We were expecting number 3! Amazing. We always wanted a large family but because we took so long to concieve Olivia, and with a few problems concieving Jamie we expected it to take a while.

So I spent the next 3 months heaving over the toilet bowl at the site of anything edible. I was crook as dog and was convinced that it had to be a boy. We really did not care what we were going to have (honestly) but we had everyone telling us how devastating it would be if we had another girl...Oh dear how terrible indeed - NOT! I bit my tongue everytime someone wished a boy on me and told them that I only ever wanted girls because boys were messy and unruly (hiss hiss....). This was not true of course. I honestly would have loved a little boy, but like I said, if I had a girl then I would have been just as tickled pink.....

So on October 4th 2006, after a 2 hour speedy drug free labour my little man was born. Little, or should I say big (8 pund 6 ounces) Elliot came into this world. My family is now complete.

TIP # 10: I would still have taken the drugs if the midwife had let me.....no point trying to be a hero - it hurt like hell but was not a long labour so it was over and done with pretty fast. Anyway, I quite possibly had the best midwife humanly possible. She was young, energetic and helped me the whole way through. Having a good midwife makes the world of difference and can really help you get through a tough labour. If I end up going down the track for number 4 (he he only joking) and knowing what I know now, I would make sure that I had a good midwife or support person (apart from my gorgeous husband of course) to be at the labour with me.

Being a boy, end being baby number 3, he is also a completely different baby. He is not a 'strict' routine baby because he has no choice. He has to sleep in the pram, be woken for kinder drop offs and eat when he gets fed but he still has a routine! He is now 10 months old and a pure joy to have around. The girls just love him.

TIP # 11: With three children I now fully understand the importance of routines. He is the product of all of my past mistakes, so is obviously much more relaxed. He still has his horrid days but is overall much happier. I honestly believe that a relaxed baby is bred from relaxed parents. Good routines, relaxed parents and a happy household make a happy baby.

The mushy stuff:

So my biggest advice to you all is enjoy motherhood and embrace every moment you have with your baby. I remember my mother saying "they will grow up so fast", and it used to drive me crazy (what would she know hey?). But she was 100% right. Olivia is starting school next year, Jamie is about to embark 3 year old kinder, and Elliot is about to start walking. I remember being in the delivery ward so clearly with all 3 babies, and they still are my babies and always will be. It has gone so quickly and I am so sad that they are becomming more independant, but so happy that they are who they are.

I have made many mistakes along the way, and had many tears of happiness and pure frustration on my journey as a parent. I sit back at night and often laugh at the things that made me so angry (like the police calling me to say that my 4YO has called 000 for an emergency, the fights and tanties, the sugar rush tantrums, the sleepless nights, and the horrid things that have on occasion come out of their little mouths)!

TIP # 12: Just remember, when you are about to kill the kids because they wont sleep, they are fighting or just being plain old nasty - it does get better. You will laugh about it in years to come, and probably miss it (or maybe not.....hmmm)

and finally,

TIP # 13: When they are being feral, and you think that life could not get any worse - just remember that every parent (regardless of the ones that say that their kids never do anything bad) goes through the same heartache. Some parents choose to tell you about the drama's, and some just pretend that it never happens but at the end of the day babies, toddlers and kids are only human.

Love them, enjoy them and keep them safe.....